Post by darksun on Sept 24, 2008 4:02:59 GMT -8
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumb cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIREMAN A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife ,"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled,
"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Math student's love letter!!! My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient:Doctor, I feel so sick I want to die!
Doctor: Don't worry, Just leave that job to me.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
A dentist?s patient was grumbling about the fee. ?Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!,? she exclaimed. ?And it?s only a minute?s work.?
?Well, if you wish,? the dentist said, ?I?ll it out slowly.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Customer: When I bought this cat, you told me he was good for mice.
He doesn?t go near them!
Shopkeeper: Well, isn?t that good for mice?
Patient: ?How can I ever repay you for your kindness to me??
Doctor: ?By cheque, money order, or cash.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Lady to the doctor over the phone. ? Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can?t get into it. ?
Doctor:? Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.?
Lady: ? Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Man: "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!"
Doctor: "Why?"
Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
A man visited a headmaster who was playing chess with his dog. "Your dog must be must be very intelligent, " said the man.
"Not really," said the headmaster. "I've won three games out of four."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Father:"Thanks a lot doctor for saving my sons life.
Doctor:"It's God who has saved your life.
after sometime.
Doctor:"My fee??"
Father:"'ll send it to God through money order"!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
doctor:WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU.
PATIENT:I AM GOING TO DIE IN TEN MINUTES.
DOCTOR:WAIT FOR TWENTY MINUTES I AM COMING.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital,I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what was the significance.
"Nothing,"she said with a smile."It,s just to keep the doctors away."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
"Doctor I keep stealing things. What can I do?"
"Try to resist the temptation but if you can't, get me a new television"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
PATIENT:-DOCTOR I AM FEELING SEVER ITCHING,GIVE ME A MEDICINE PLEASE.
DOCTOR:-TAKE THIS SLIP TO THE MEDICAL SHOP
PATIENT:-IF I USE THIS MEDICINE,I CAN SOLVE THIS ITCHING.
DOCTOR:-I GAVE THIS FOR GROWING YOUR NAILS FOR SCRATCHING.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Patient:Why does everyone ignore me?
Doctor:Next Please!!!!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Patient:"I want to live doctor when should I take the medicine".
Doctor:"So remember to take the medicine exactly before you feel the pain".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Early Conclusion A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile. Women!! She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See the guts On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts. The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!" Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!" Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, " Why the hell should I " The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*** I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
*** Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom .. & without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOU after all!
*** Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you, are kept in Zoo
*** If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...
*** Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!!
*** Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN.
*** Abracadabra. . Nope, ur still ugly!
*** How do you keep an idiot in suspense.... ........? ?
Tell you later....... .
*** 2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'
*** Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
*** Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
*** Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
*** Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
*** Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
*** Cute? Good looking? Easy to handle? Cool? Nice structure? Its my mobile. How about yours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ............ ......... .... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............ ......... .... $ 9998.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read below interesting joke and notice how one can divert your attention with little intelligence.
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji. Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.' Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, lefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardarji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' (Highway Restaurant) in Islamabad. 'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?' The Sardaji, sips his Lassi (Curd) and says, 'Bikes'
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumb cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIREMAN A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife ,"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled,
"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Math student's love letter!!! My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient:Doctor, I feel so sick I want to die!
Doctor: Don't worry, Just leave that job to me.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
A dentist?s patient was grumbling about the fee. ?Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!,? she exclaimed. ?And it?s only a minute?s work.?
?Well, if you wish,? the dentist said, ?I?ll it out slowly.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Customer: When I bought this cat, you told me he was good for mice.
He doesn?t go near them!
Shopkeeper: Well, isn?t that good for mice?
Patient: ?How can I ever repay you for your kindness to me??
Doctor: ?By cheque, money order, or cash.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Lady to the doctor over the phone. ? Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can?t get into it. ?
Doctor:? Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.?
Lady: ? Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Man: "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!"
Doctor: "Why?"
Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
A man visited a headmaster who was playing chess with his dog. "Your dog must be must be very intelligent, " said the man.
"Not really," said the headmaster. "I've won three games out of four."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Father:"Thanks a lot doctor for saving my sons life.
Doctor:"It's God who has saved your life.
after sometime.
Doctor:"My fee??"
Father:"'ll send it to God through money order"!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
doctor:WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU.
PATIENT:I AM GOING TO DIE IN TEN MINUTES.
DOCTOR:WAIT FOR TWENTY MINUTES I AM COMING.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital,I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what was the significance.
"Nothing,"she said with a smile."It,s just to keep the doctors away."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
"Doctor I keep stealing things. What can I do?"
"Try to resist the temptation but if you can't, get me a new television"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
PATIENT:-DOCTOR I AM FEELING SEVER ITCHING,GIVE ME A MEDICINE PLEASE.
DOCTOR:-TAKE THIS SLIP TO THE MEDICAL SHOP
PATIENT:-IF I USE THIS MEDICINE,I CAN SOLVE THIS ITCHING.
DOCTOR:-I GAVE THIS FOR GROWING YOUR NAILS FOR SCRATCHING.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Patient:Why does everyone ignore me?
Doctor:Next Please!!!!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Patient:"I want to live doctor when should I take the medicine".
Doctor:"So remember to take the medicine exactly before you feel the pain".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Early Conclusion A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile. Women!! She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See the guts On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts. The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!" Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!" Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, " Why the hell should I " The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*** I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
*** Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom .. & without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOU after all!
*** Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you, are kept in Zoo
*** If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...
*** Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!!
*** Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN.
*** Abracadabra. . Nope, ur still ugly!
*** How do you keep an idiot in suspense.... ........? ?
Tell you later....... .
*** 2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'
*** Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
*** Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
*** Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
*** Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
*** Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
*** Cute? Good looking? Easy to handle? Cool? Nice structure? Its my mobile. How about yours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ............ ......... .... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............ ......... .... $ 9998.00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read below interesting joke and notice how one can divert your attention with little intelligence.
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji. Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.' Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, lefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardarji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' (Highway Restaurant) in Islamabad. 'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?' The Sardaji, sips his Lassi (Curd) and says, 'Bikes'